Tales of the Parodyverse

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Sammyig
Thu Nov 09, 2006 at 10:07:12 pm EST
Subject
Crabs (The story some of you requested)
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Crabs

Sometimes, late at night, the memory comes back to me. The whole experience wafts over me like a piece of cellophane. I miss my Mom and Dad.

It started when I won a small hermit crab at the local carnival. I brought him home, bought a plastic aquarium with hermit crab food, and cleaned out his home once a week. For a special treat, at times, I would give him some "Rice Crispies" or some corn flakes instead of the mundane crab food.

One morning, I woke early and walked out to the back yard to get a breath of fresh air. The air was crisp, and the grass that you could see was covered with dew. The whole yard was infested with hermit crabs the size of baseballs. I didn't panic. I went back into the house, got the box of cornflakes, and began feeding the crabs as one would feed chickens. I made sure everybody got some. When the box was empty, I sat on the steps to watch my newfound friends enjoy their morning meal. I began hearing a sort of buzz coming from them which increasingly became louder. Eventually, I heard cries of "thank you" and "hmm." I figured that since I could understand what they were saying, I would see if they could understand me, and promptly said "Hello."

"Hi!" They yelled enthusiastically.

"Where in the world did you guys come from?" I asked.

"We don't know." said one crab who seemed to be the leader of the group.

"Do you have names?" I asked.

"Of course, I'm Phelan."

"Are you the leader of this motley group?" I asked politely.

"Yes."

"Why have you come?" It certainly wasn't every day that you saw hermit crabs all over the place.

"Because we were called here by Clyde."

"Who's Clyde?" I asked.

"Our brother that you take care of."

"Oh."

"Will you bring him out to us?" Phelan asked.

"Sure, just a sec."

I went back into the house, picked Clyde up from his cage, and put him in my hand. I then walked back outside.

"Here, Clyde. Your brothers have come to see you."

"Thanks for bringing me." he said.

"You're welcome, Clyde."

He and his brothers had a sort of family reunion. Reminiscing about old times, and generally having fun. Unfortunately, things changed as soon as my parents found out I was nowhere inside the house. When they came outside and saw Clyde's brothers and I playing games, they went ballistic. They wouldn't listen when I tried to tell them about my new friends. Neighbors ran outside to see what all the commotion was. When they saw my friends, they got weapons of their own and began to march toward my house. Clyde explained to me that he and his brothers were going to have to fight, and I told him to do whatever he had to do.

Hermit crabs jumped from all sides, landing on my parents and my neighbors. They crawled their way to the bases of their necks and began to feed on their brains. When everyone was dead, my friends dragged the bodies over to me and asked me to help dispose of them. At once, we got to work. By noon, our enemies were nowhere to be seen and we lay on the soft earth to collect our strength.

When we woke, it was night. We began tearing down the house and taking the wood to make a large fence so we could have some privacy. With so many of us, it only took us a few days to finish our new home.
They inducted me into their family.

I do not know how many weeks or years it has been since I became one of the family. But what I do know is when it is late at night and I begin to cry, my brothers and sisters crowd around me. They are the best friends a girl could have.



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using Windows XP
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